There are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people. Because the two people who enter into a relationship are imperfect in many ways, their imperfections will combine to undermine their relationship at least from time to time.

To enter into a relationship is a lea p of faith, a leap into the unknown. Most couples enter marriage underprepared because there is no way of preparing for marriage. We have our hopeful fantasies about what will happen in marriage, but alas many of our fantasies are in fact mirages!

Sometimes people say, 'I shouldn't have got married because I wasn't ready'. What they need to know is that in one sense, no-one is ready for marriage. The experience of being married makes one ready. Marriage is a relationship for adults, and everything that is not grown up in us will show up in our marriages.

Because marriage is an intense 'in your face' kind of relationship it is difficult to escape effectively when things start to go awry. However, difficulties in marriage are to be expected, they are the norm, not the exception. It was 'for better....for WORSE..', remember. So, we have to learn to manage the relationship, and while there may be many wonderful and fulfilling times, there are also times when we just have to work. End of story.

So real marriages in the real world experience real difficulties because it is hard to get two people from diffferent backgrounds, different genes, different communication styles, different conflict resolution tools, different personalities, abilities and interests to live together happily ever after.

This is where marriage counselling comes in handy. Tools to create greater happiness and satisfaction are made available by someone who has expertise in relationship counselling. Old patterns which are unhelpful are identified and destroyed, and new ones are brought into being. Not without difficulty, but its not that hard either!

Couples can not know what they do not know when they get married. What is important is that they learn how to oil the 'squeaky wheels' in the relationship before there is real trouble.

The goal of marriage counselling is to enable a couple to grow past the present difficulties, find one another afresh, rekindle faith and love, and move on into a happier future.

This is done at SoulCare with gentleness, sensitivity, humour and practicality! It is also done for those to whom it is important in a solidly spiritual context.

Christian marriages also have the additional resource of faith to draw on, but I find frequently that Christian couples have no idea of what those resources are, or how to utilize them.

Somewhere on this site you will find other articles to help you communicate better, resolve conflict more effectively and love each other more effectively.

But remember, if you can't get through a difficult period, it is always worth seeking help early!! Usually problems can be ironed out quite quickly if they are nipped in the bud!